if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
