HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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