There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
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