I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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