bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize