It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
