this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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