well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
