Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
