I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
