let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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