Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Still dying that you shit outside
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
