dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
