this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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