i used baking grease as lip gloss
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
