She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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