we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
