you're like a bully in the Christmas story
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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