i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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