he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
We got so high we made milksteak
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
