i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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