It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
