Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
