Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
