At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
