do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
