Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
