I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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