Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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