I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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