just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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