I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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