I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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