Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
