you mean i was at the winter classic?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
