he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
