Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize