i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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