Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize