my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
