i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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