toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
