I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
