Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
