I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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