you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
