just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
