I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
