whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
