remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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