I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
