i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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