Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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