Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
