Sry I called you an 8
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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