i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
