oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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