this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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