I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
