the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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