My brain says no but my pants say off.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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