"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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