i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
