on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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