Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
