If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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