hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
