Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize