yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
