Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You did what with his pubic hair?
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