My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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